"Rather, Rinse, Repeat": Perry White sits working in his office when suddenly he is interrupted by two people. The white-haired siblings introduce themselves as Dale and Dolores, and then tell Perry that they have an offer he won't be able to refuse. Perry steps towards the pair, but Dale just l
Appearing in "Rather, Rinse, Repeat"
- Luthor (Flashback only)
- Guardians of the Universe (Flashback only)
- Thanagarians (Flashback only)
- Saturn Girl (Flashback only)
- Cosmic Boy (Flashback only)
- Encyclopedia Universal
Synopsis for "Rather, Rinse, Repeat"
Perry White sits working in his office when suddenly he is interrupted by two people. The white-haired siblings introduce themselves as Dale and Dolores, and then tell Perry that they have an offer he won't be able to refuse. Perry steps towards the pair, but Dale just lifts Perry off of his feet and hurls the editor against the wall. Dolores then pops open her briefcase and presents the Encyclopedia Universal. They introduce it as the most comprehensive information source anywhere.
Out in space, Superman receives a broadcast from a S.T.A.R. Labs platform. The ghost of a parallel Earth is dropping into their galaxy, and if Superman doesn't reverse the process the world will be destroyed. Moving into position, Superman begins to vibrate, exactly duplicating the vibrations of the incoming world. The phantom planet begins to fade away. On the space platform, men and women cheer as Superman saves the universe.
As Perry struggles to his feet, Dale wonders how anyone could afford to not have a copy of the Encyclopedia. Perry angrily demands the both of them to get out of his office, but Dale just tells him that everyone seems to be turning down his offer. With a word, flashbacks appear of the twins trying to sell their wares elsewhere. President Luthor waves the two away and screams for Hope and Mercy to get rid of them. Elsewhere, world leaders from Russia to the Middle East are shown the Encyclopedia, and all refuse it. Across the universe, they try to push their product on Oans and Thanagarians, and in the 31st century Saturn Girl and Cosmic Boy of the Legion tell them that they don't need it either.
Back in the Planet, Dolores tells Perry that he must fear what he does not understand. Perry tells her he's seen stranger things that this, but then Dolores leaps forward and kisses him. In an instant Perry finds himself dressed in Kryptonian garb as he watches a ship blast skyward. On Apokolips, he sees himself as Darkseid. In a crazy world he is Chief Bizarro. Suddenly Perry collapses to the floor, unconscious.
In their apartment, Lois and Clark argue about something when suddenly Clark can hear someone outside the door. He can't see them though, and that only happens when he is dealing with magic. Opening the door, the twins rush past and immediately pull out their book. Clark tells them that they have some nerve, when suddenly Dolores waves her hand and Clark finds himself in costume. Another gesture and Superman and Lois, along with all of their belongings, are swept out of the windows by a gale force wind. He tries to catch Lois, but Superman can't fly. Right before they hit, they suddenly find themselves, under the sea.
The twins sit across from them at a table, with Lois clad in typical mermaid attire. They begin to tell the couple that they are interested in the mind's eye. They can alter perceptions and make people experience things that are not there. Lois grabs her head as she feels herself in other places, other times, but Superman tells her that it is just in her mind. Superman then asks if this is the new system that he has to put up with. Superman smiles at the magicians and tells them that he can play their game too. Superman then imagines the twins' brains being probed by aliens. The two are shocked, admitting that they actually felt that. With a snap of their fingers, the twins send Lois and Clark back.
In their apartment, Lois grabs Clark when suddenly the phone rings. Jimmy Olsen tells both of them that Perry is in the hospital. The three reporters stand on one side of the bed, with Perry's wife, Alice, on the other. The doctors tell them that they don't know how long his coma will last. Alice looks lost with him. Pulling Clark away, Lois tells him to get Alice a glass of water. Clark tells her that he thinks the game has just gotten more serious. In the bathroom, the twins suddenly appear in the mirror and taunt him. He yells at them for attacking Perry, when Lois suddenly opens the door behind him. He tells her that round two is about to begin.
Taking to the sky, Superman soars to the Lexcorp towers where the twins are hovering far above the ground. He identifies them as Mxyzptlk, but before he can do anything else, they turn their powers against him. Suddenly he sees a rocket blast through space, a cube of a world, and other strange things. He tells them to stay out of his mind, but before he can strike at them, they tell him to wait. Looking down, they smile as they remove Earth's gravity. Below them, chaos begins.
- This book was first published on June 11, 2003.
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