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Batman (2004 TV Series) Episode: Two of a Kind

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The Joker steals paintings in the art museum with his two henchmen, Punch and Judy. Suddenly, Batgirl swings in and begins to fight the clown. Once the henchmen are defeated, Robin and Batman arrive. Batman strings up Joker in his batrope, but Joker has an

Quote1 So, you didn't like my show? Well try this one: "When Animals Attack People I Hate!" It's a comedy. Quote2
--Harley Quinn

Appearing in "Two of a Kind"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:


Other Characters:


  • Joker's Hideout
  • Harley's Apartment



  • Joker's Rocket Skateboard

Synopsis for "Two of a Kind"

The Joker steals paintings in the art museum with his two henchmen, Punch and Judy. Suddenly, Batgirl swings in and begins to fight the clown. Once the henchmen are defeated, Robin and Batman arrive. Batman strings up Joker in his batrope, but Joker has an escape plan. The clown takes a purple grenade from his pocket and throws it up just enough so that it explodes right in Batman's face.

The explosion goes off, but Batman, naturally, lands to the ground gracefully and barely injured. The Joker descends as well. What the Dark Knight didn't see was that the ceiling was beginning to collapse and, as he catches his breath, Batman and his sidekicks become trapped under falling rubble. Joker looks at his watch and realizes that he is late, takes out a rocket skateboard, and rides out of the art museum with no loot.

Later, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl watch as the police arrest Punch and Judy. Batman tells the sidekicks to look for the Joker. The Dark Knight has his own problems to worry about.

Joker arrives at his base and eagerly hops into his chair and turns on the television. The clown begins to watch a talk show where the host discusses random people's love problems. The host is a blonde woman named Dr. Harleen Quinzel. Joker says that her theories on love and science are awful and that's what makes the show so entertaining to him.

At the set of the talk show, the show turns to a commercial and Quinzel walks backstage. She finds the network producer Jimmy Herbert angrily looking at her. He criticizes her advice, but Quinzel says that she knows what she's doing. Herbert continues to criticize the fact that the show is practically becoming a circus! The woman exclaims with joy, because that's exactly what she's going for. The commercial break ends and Quinzel walks on stage, ending the conversation.

When Dr. Quinzel gets back on stage, she announces their special guest bachelor: Bruce Wayne! Wayne gets on stage and Quinzel immediately begins flirting with him. Wayne mainly begins to use his screentime to promote Wayne Industries, but Quinzel constantly changes the topic.

Somewhere else, Robin and Batgirl are fighting petty thieves when they see a television switched to the channel Wayne is on. They are shocked to find out the important matter Batman had to go do was be on a love talk show.

Quinzel is not planning to take advice from the billionaire, though. Her plan is to bring some of Wayne's ex-girlfriends and watch the drama. Wayne doesn't even realize what's going on when Quinzel call in her first guest, Kiki.

Robin and Batgirl, still watching, want to save him but know they can't.

On the show, Kiki rants about how cruel Bruce Wayne is with his girlfriends. She tells the story of how, one time at dinner, Bruce randomly said he had to do something very important and just abruptly left. Kiki then had to pay a very expensive check. The ex-girlfriend then begins to bawl on stage as the crowd boo's Bruce Wayne. Promoting Wayne Industries isn't going as planned.

Quinzel suggests that they take some calls now. Bruce Wayne is hopping mad that he was fooled into this. The first caller is none other the Joker, himself. Wayne recognizes his voice but tries to keep the facade that he doesn't to protect his secret identity. Joker, going by the alias as "Mr. J," bashes Bruce Wayne and the crowd applauds. Wayne has had enough of this and angrily stomps off stage. Harleen Quinzel comes rushing after him, stopping him half off stage. Then, Jimmy Herbert, the producer, intervenes and appologizes to Bruce Wayne for Harley's torture. Herbert then yells that he's cancelling the show on air.

Joker sits in his hideout, commentting on how Quinzel will be an emotional wreck now! He is then hit with a sinister plot and wickedly smiles.

At Harley's apartment, she walks in depressed and shrugs onto the couch. The door bell rings and she pops back up to answer the door. It is none other than the Joker.

Joker takes Quinzel to his secret hideout. Joker thanks the woman for willingly going. She says that, if she works with an extreme personality like Joker's, she might be able to gain a little respect in the medical world. The clown is insulted that she is only coming with him so that she can write a book. She is not intimidated and offers half of her profits. Joker is impressed but not impressed enough not to feed her to the hyenas. As the hyenas approach her, Quinzel yells "sit" and the hyenas surpringly obey her. Joker is now completely impressed by his favorite television show personality. Quinzel then suggests that they begin writing their book. The clown is now on board, sits in his chair, and begins to talk about his past.

In Harley's apartments, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl are doing an investigation. Batman determines that Joker wanted to take advantage of Quinzel and that's why he came here.

Back at Joker's hideout, Harley is now in Joker's chair and she is ranting about her life. Joker is now in her chair with a notebook scribbling as he listens to her story. Joker suggests that they have a night on the town together, considering they have so much in common. Quinzel has doubts about the idea, saying that it would be unproffesional. Joker says that she can use a costume. He runs to his costume rack and pulls off a red and black harlequin costume. She looks at the costume and smiles.

As Harley suits up, Joker notices that Harley Quinzel is close to Harley Quinn. Harley steps out of the dressing room and Joker is astounded. She looks amazing! The two run to Joker's car and they have a night on the town.

The Joker sings Harley a song as they throw pies at cops and poison squirrels in the park. When they're driving around, Batman lands on their car. Joker tries to shake him off, but, instead, hits the eject button on his and Harley's seats. They land on a nearby elevator and Batman still persists.

Batman attacks Joker and kicks him to the ground. Harley tries to defend him, but Batman easily grabs hold of her and takes off her mask. Batman questions why she is running around town with a criminal.

As she distracts Batman, Joker tosses a bomb into the elevator they are on. The villian then grabs Harley and jumps off. Batman goes into the elevator to save the civilians while the villians fall. Joker pulls out a tiny umbrella and it manages to keep them up and allow them to glide. The clown says that he learned that trick from Penguin.

On the television the next morning, Harley notices that she is on the news. Her secret identity didn't work. The news reporter then introduces Dr. Blaine as he psychologically evaluates Quinzel herself. Frustrated, Quinn takes a large pole and begins bashing the television.

Joker then enters carrying a Valentines Day gift for Harley. He gives her the large diamond he stole, but she doesn't want it. All she wants for Valentines Day is Dr. Blaine.

At Dr. Blaine's show that night, the clowns trash it. First, Harley kicks down the book case behind Blaine, causing him to be trapped. Harle, Joker, and the hyenas have officially taken over.

In Wayne Manor, Robin and Batman watch as Harley runs the show. They suit up and rush out.

Back at the show, Harley has rounded up all of the producers of the show and Dr. Blaine. She calls in the hyenas and has them attack the captured producers. When the hyenas are mid-leap, Batgirl swings in and kicks down both of the animals.

As Harley prepares to fight Batgirl, Joker shoots acid on the rafters above causing them to fall on Batgirl. Harley tells Joker to take the sidekick in the back and Joker Gas her, but Joker yells at Harley for bossing him around. Joker is always the boss. As Harley inches back scared, Joker changes his personality and says he can never stay mad at her.

Suddenly, Batman and Robin arrive. Joker throws Harley at them and makes a run for the door. Batman pursues Joker while Robin saves Batgirl from under the fallen rafters. Harley thought this would happen so she had the whole place ready to blow. She presses the detonator once and one bomb explodes. Joker says that there are three more bombs hidden around the studio. As Quinzel is about to hit the button again, Batman hits it out of her hand.

Harley reacts by throwing a grenade at Batman, who deflects it back at her. The villian panics and throws her entire bag of granades at the floor. Once Batgirl is rescued, the sidekicks begin helping the audience get out.

The building lay burning and crumbling from all of the grenades going off. Joker calls his hyenas and runs out without Harley. Quinzel lays unconscious on the stage almost being engulfed in flames. Batman arrives just in time to save her and they all make it out alive.

Outside the burning studio, Batman tells Harley that Joker only cares about himself. Harley begins to cry as she criticize her pschology skills herself. Harley is taken away by the police. But, before they take off. The cop driving the cop car sits on a woopee cushion. He lifts it up to expose a message: "Harley, keep smiling! Love, Mr. J." Harley's frown is gone and she begins laughing hysterically. Elsewhere, Joker is laughing hysterically, too.


  • No notes.


  • Harley's talk show is named "Heart to Heart with Harley."
  • Dr. Elliot Blaine's appearance and personality is a reference to the talk show host "Dr. Phil."

See Also

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