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This page contains a listing of all notable quotes by Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth).

It may not be the definitive list, so please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source.
Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.

(This template will categorize articles that include it into Category:Quotes.)
Quote1 With that in mind, we opted for the next best thing...a big, splashy holiday special! Quote2
--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 My rational mind can recognize pain when I see it. But my rational mind is in a pretty small box. All tied up with a bow on it. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 HELP WANTED. Looking for a few brassy lassies willing to make the world a better place, take a bite out of crime, and b a part of something bigger than themselves... There will be no background check, as experience with insubordinance will only work to your advantage in the hiring process. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Hey, Grifter! Anyone ever tell you you're supposed to break out of jail-- not into it, you idiot? Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Nothing says "l'chaim" like a girl dressed in a stripper clown outfit wielding a hundred-pound mallet. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Not everyone understands her intentions are for the good' of the whole wide world! I'm her best friend. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Mmmm, spiked eggnog. It's like the cream a' Christmas in a spoon! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Holee-Clusterfolee, it's a friggin' zoo in here! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Bruce Wayne, yer millionaire butt is sooo mine. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 I would be instigating mayhem everywhere I go! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Understood, Dr. Hertz. Too much of anything is no good. Not. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Nice to meet'cha too. Anyone ever tell you your breath stinks of cheese farts? Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Sorry. I was tryin' out somethin' for our new team. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Well, if you ain't findin' my bodacious bongos distractin'-- I'm sure you'll be mesmerized by my resplendent rear end! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Look, I'm in no mood for this crap. Especially after the day I been havin! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 What's gonna happen here is, I'm gonna turn off the lights fer two minutes, an' when I turn 'em back on, whoever's still standin' gets the job. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 I must let the world know about my craving. I want pancakes and I want them now! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Yeah, but it's like twenty-five bucks now. They oughta give you a massage with that, y'know? I mean, I can almost buy five comics with that. It's crime on a Wednesday, I tell ya. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Gotham's so pretty from this distance. I miss my friends, but the city itself has changed ... I've changed, too. I love the home I have now." Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 I love it! It's so... cinematic! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 That was so not romantic. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 The rest of you have five seconds before I take your tacky tickle toys and find new places ta shove 'em! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Maybe we should just let 'im... y'know... kick the bucket natcherly. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Holee stinkerolee! It smells like a turd's butthole back here. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Hey, shishka-bimbo... You try an' turn my friend into cole slaw... and I'm gonna go all hibachi steakhouse on your ass! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 How's my babies? Anyone squeeze out some more ammo for mama? Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 What the Hell? That suit! What are you, the president'a my fan club? Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Welcome, everybody, ta the greatest show in the whole wide world! My birth name is Harleen Quinzel, but my friends an' enemies know me simply as Harley Quinn! I will be your host-est with the most-est this evening! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 If I'm not outta here in five seconds, somebody's gonna get their spleen ripped out. I mean it...spleenless! As in no spleen. About ta get a splenectomy. Adios spleen-ios, if you will. Spleen-free! Aw, ya get the idea. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 I mean, for one thing...you thought you could tie me up? Me? I'll have you know, professionals have tied me up--and not just Ivy on date night, either! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 What kind of alien ass do I gotta kick?! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 I'm gonna creatify me some art! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 We had two bags a' catnip, seventy-five rounds a' hollow point bullets, half a bag a' fried bacon an' three copies a' Death of Superman. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Love makes ya crazy, Mistah V, but sometimes ya get so mixed up an' crazy in love, y'can't tell that yer sweetie is nasty an' yer relationship is toxic. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Naughty naughty, Space-head jerk! You wanted ta get inta my head, an' in turn I got inta yours -- an' with me came Mistah J. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Body not working like it should, Middy? Parasite's pirating your enhancements. Gotta change your Wi-Fi password regularly, I always say. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Ya wanna know what else I think about the Fist of Cain? I think they're gonna haveta do a major membership drive after this. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Aw, Mr. Reed. You thought you could "outevil" us. The Friggin' Suicide Squad. You made a deal with demons. What'd you think would happen, ya silly goose? Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Harley, I'm trying to figure out why you're trapped. Why you're trapped in a cycle you can't seem to escape. I want to set you free. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Trust me, if anyone should know about him, it's me. He was the biggest mistake of my life... Do not let him be yours. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Although it was intriguing, I felt what I was doing was nothing extraordinary and found myself drawn back ta the subject that has always had my interest. The criminal mind. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Dude, I have white skin, two colors of hair, and I dress like a roller derby reject. What part of "Covert" do you think I do? Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 We're all a li'l screwy in the brain, Floyd... But the shrink in me says you've gotta way better chance of helping your daughter if you're still alive. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Well, aren't you a peach? There are a ton of things I hate about myself, but my face isn't one of them, so I think I'll keep that. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 You were dead. I'm positive of it. And I got thirty-six stitches in my wrist yesterday. Now look. Gone. They're pumping us with something. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Nothing says l'Chaim like a girl dressed in a stripper clown outfit wielding a hundred-pound mallet. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Wheee...! This is just like a video game I love called Zombie Wombie. I can get all the way to the last level! It's where I always die. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Lookit mah gangsta skeelz. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Boy, taking care of babies is harder than it looks. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 It's so nice to get out of prison, you guys! I mean... it can get kind of oppressive being a bad guy covertly working for the good guys, taking out other bad guys because of the brain bombs the good guys illegally and immorally put in our brains! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Maybe we choose madness. Maybe it chooses us. I don't know. Once, a long time ago, I was Dr. Harleen Quinzel, psychotherapist. Maybe she'd have known. But let's imagine, for a second, that we do choose madness. Why would anyone do that, do you think? Perhaps it's because the insane realize, at some quantum emotional level, that we are alone in this indifferent universe and always will be. And madness is company. Another voice in the wilderness. White noise to break the silence you ain't ever coming back from... Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 You're a slave, I'm a slave, we go kill a few more people in the name of one's person's justification of freedom when what they really mean is...CONTROL! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 I got a message for you from Waller. She says, "I was right, Caitlin. And this is who you really are. Bitch." Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 You said it yourself, Amanda. I'm a killer. We are all killers. This is the Suicide Squad. You want to use criminals to save the world? This is what you get. We are not heroes. So blow my brains out if you need to, Waller. Kill me. Better dead than your slave. Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Y'know, reader with hands over eyes...I'm amazed to think, in this brief oasis moment of frozen lucidity amidst the tumult...that we're actually gonna make it. We are definitely gonna make it...I am an excellent driver....AHHHHH!!! Whose $%&£&%$ idea was this again?! Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Every super-villain in Belle Reve has gone murdery-loco... And I, Harley Quinn -- the mad quinnpin of crime --- have just got my sanity back... Quote2

--Harleen Quinzel (Prime Earth)