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This page contains a listing of all notable quotes by Joker (Earth-Two).

It may not be the definitive list, so please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source.
Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.

(This template will categorize articles that include it into Category:Quotes.)
Quote1 If they're going to play with the Joker, they'd better be prepared to deal from the bottom of the deck! Quote2
--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 Most people use slang expressions daily which, if carried out word for word, would cause them to commit crimes! "I'll mow you down" -- and others. Get the idea? Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 Only one person stands in my way- the Batman! He has outwitted me consistently, thanks to the Batmobile, Batplane, Bat Symbol and other revolutionary devices... But no more! The same weapons he has used against me, I can turn against him- with such improvements as only my genius could device! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 I can't stand it! Put me in jail... anyplace... So I won't have to listen to Robin's puns any more! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 Ha! Ha! I've lived to see the end of the man I hate the most! I've lived to see the death of the Batman! HA-HA-HA! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 Four aces are not enough to win when you play with the Joker! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 I could unmask you now, Batman, but that would only take away what little fun is left to me- the fun-loving Joker! Yes, Batman, I will let your identity remain a secret. For you afford me the thrill of a supreme battle of wits each time we meet! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 So! They laugh at my boner, will they?? I'll show them! I'll show them how many boners the Joker can make! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 Why not a utility belt for me, the Joker? My own kind of utility belt! Then I'll have the edge! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 If Wayne is Batman-- then Batman couldn't be Batman! But since Wayne couldn't be Batman -- then maybe I'm Batman! But-- that's crazy! Ha! Ha! Ha! So obviously-- I'm crazy! Ha Ha HA HA! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 Excuse me my friends! I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that Robin is going to be the executioner for Batman! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 That's an idea! We can use song titles for a stunt to baffle Batman! A crime parade to follow the tune parade! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 That chemical vapor-- it turned my hair green, my lips rouge-red, my skin chalk white! I look like an evil clown! What a joke on me! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 To think that I have to work like an ordinary criminal to get money to pay my taxes! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 Don't forget, there is always a hidden trick when you play the game of chance with the Joker! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 The Batman gave me some tough opposition-- but I always win at the end! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 You know... I don't know why I go to such lengths to dispose of you... When all I need to do is rip off your mask... reveal your name to the underworld-- Ha!Ha! No! It's too simple-- Unworthy of my intelligence! And I like this battle of wits! The hunt... the chase! That's the breath of life to me! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 That's it... The Joker must die! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 I'm going to make Batman the fool... I'm going to shame him... shame him into quitting! HA HA HA! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 It's more important for me to keep the Batman alive! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 The famed leaning Tower of Pisa! One of the great architectural boners in history! Faulty foundation work and miscalculations almost caused it to topple over! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)

Quote1 Here he is, lads! The man who is going to make criminal history in Gotham City! Our own Batman-- who'll be as crooked as we! Quote2

--Joker (Earth-Two)