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This page contains a listing of all notable quotes by Joker (Prime Earth).

It may not be the definitive list, so please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source.
Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.

(This template will categorize articles that include it into Category:Quotes.)
Quote1 Well, that hurts. If you truly look, Batgirl... you'll see I'm the only man in the world capable of showing love. Quote2
--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Anyhow, She-Bat... you just might get naughty and try to do the old midnight divorce on me, right? So I decided to help myself to your arms and legs, Sweety-Boo. Call it the best pre-nup ever. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 A lion doesn't pass judgement on a gazelle. Cancer doesn't pass judgement on a brain. I've been saying this all along. Evil doesn't exist. There are only actions. We got to the same place--the top of the food chain--just on different paths. Mine was more fun. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Let's try some new material. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 See, that's the thing, it's always business with us, lately. Business, business, business. So this time, I took care of all that early, so we can relax and have ourselves a nice chat. Face to face... to face (hee-hee). Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Sit down, and you'll find out. Fight your destiny... you'll never find a single trace of any of them, ever. You'll grow old wondering what happened to them. What I did to each one... Now SIT YOUR #%^ DOWN!'' Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Because we have an understanding. I'll bet you've said it to them these past few days, haven't you? "You don't understand him." Sure you have, because the ugly truth of it is, Batsss *sigh* is that you love me more than them. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 I taught him how not to feel sorry. How not to get caught up in feelings. I taught him that with guilt comes weakness. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Hello, Bruce. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 And the Lord said unto John: "Come forth and you shall have eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 It's time for the Bat King to destroy all the vampires in his life. You've sucked the marrow from his broken bones long enough. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Do to him? Well... you could marry him. But of course, he'd start lying around too much, eating pizza, watching tv, all that snuggling at night. He'd become a soft blob. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Let's try some new material. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 This is a mystery that stretches back to the dawn of time. It's bigger than all of us. And it sure as hell is bigger than you. You don't understand. All that was just a cruel joke. You're just another couple of pieces in Batman's puzzle. Just like me. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 This is a violation of my civil rights! A man should be able to slaughter in peace! Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 ' Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 So, my tender little morselette... How are things? Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 I have something for you...in my pants. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 And yet here you are...alone and strapped to a table like a lab experiment. The place is for lost souls, not rehabilitation. No one leaves here, no one gets "cured," no one passes Go and collects their $200. We are here to be tucked away from society till the day we die or kill each other. To rot with the other trash and forgotten souls that inhabit this godforsaken place. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 You know, this last year's been a real snooze to watch, Bat-Fake. I mean, you coming back here, desperate to prove yourself... being all serious... Yawn! Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 The invitation did say it was a surprise party. And what kind of host would I be... if I didn't have a little something extra for the worst of the bat-fakes? The one that makes my Batman the weakest. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Because at the end of the day what people are afraid of is the nothing of it, Bruce. The randomness. The empty center. Stare into it and try to find meaning. You'll go mad. All you can do is fear, and survive. It's the truth. That's what this gang is--you see, Bruce? I came up with the idea for it in the wake of your parents' death. In that wonderful moment--that true moment, right after. See? We wear the red hood to court the wolf, rather than hide. Eat us, we say. Eat us all. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 What happened to your sense of humor, Son? You and I - we were quite a team in our day, weren't we? I'd write the material. You'd read your lines. But you had to go and improvise the big finale, didn't you? Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Yes, but is there something on your face, Harley? There it is. Here, let me get it off. *WHACK* Got it! I think it was a small touch of hubris. But it's gone now. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Because once I didn't care about the rules anymore, I had all the power. We all have it inside of us. We just got to let it out. And I can show you how... Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 You're a villain, remember? Time to nasty up and act like one. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 How best to hurt you? By making your pimple patrol the very cause of your agita. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Don't you see, buddy-old-pal? You said I needed a friend. You were so good to offer yourself up. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)

Quote1 Look at yooou. Always so serious! The first annoyed with quip and quickness, the second earned his anger and pain--(and ultimately his death)--but you... you have always bored me with your perfection, that arrogant flaunting of how much better you think you are than everyone else. Quote2

--Joker (Prime Earth)