Spider Jerusalem (Transmetropolitan)/Quotes
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It may not be the definitive list, so please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source.
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I was having a mildly paranoid day, mostly due to the fact that the mad priest lady from over the river had taken to nailing weasels to my front door again. 
If you loved me, you'd all kill yourselves today.
Contract? You'll never get a city hitman up the mountain to me -- you bastards die if there's actual oxygen in the air.
Maybe there's something about taking the species transition treatment that fries up the frontal lobes into blackened little turds.
There was a time when I liked a good riot. Put on some heavy old street clothes that could stand a bit of sidewalk-scraping, infect myself with something good and contageous, then go out and stamp on some cops. It was great, being nine years old.
You may have noticed my brain is no longer pristine.
**** off. No family. No girlfriend. No friends. No love. No hope. No point. And Santa Claus is dead. I killed him. I killed him with THIS! *pointing at crotch*
- --Spider responding to a reporter's question about plans for the winter
- I'd kill everybody in this room. Even the children. Especially the children.
