"Our Second Amendment Issue": Bigby doesn't buy Jack's story of getting in a fight with three wooden men. Jack insists he's telling the truth, showing them the wooden leg he broke off one of the attackers. But Bigby and Snow don't have time to waste on one of his schemes tonight.
- An election is just a romance writ large, with an entire community, rather than a single woman, as the object of one's pursuit. And I always win the object of my pursuit.
Appearing in "Our Second Amendment Issue"
- New York City
- Homelands (Flashback only)
Synopsis for "Our Second Amendment Issue"
Bigby doesn't buy Jack's story of getting in a fight with three wooden men. Jack insists he's telling the truth, showing them the wooden leg he broke off one of the attackers. But Bigby and Snow don't have time to waste on one of his schemes tonight.
In Brooklyn, the three wooden men enter a gun shop, and ask the owner for one of each gun he has in stock. Once everything is stockpiled on the counter, they try to take them, but the owner tells them they can't. By law, they'd need to wait until Friday to pick up the guns. In response, the wooden men pulled off the dates of his calendar until it read "Friday", then proceeded to take the stock out with them. Further protest from the shopkeeper left him dead, with knives pinning him to the wall.
Out in front of the Woodland building, Flycatcher and Pinocchio try to cheer up their buddy, Blue. He feels terrible that Red Riding Hood hates him, expressing his woe by playing the blues on his trumpet. Fly offers to take him to the comic shop, or the candy store, while Pinocchio suggests the age old cure for any broken heart: Hookers. Then, to their surprise, Red Riding Hood walks over to Blue, this time with a smile. She apologized for her behavior the other day, seeing Boy Blue alive was a shock, and she panicked, saying things she didn't mean. Boy Blue stood up, dropping his horn, saying there was nothing to forgive, he adored her as much as he did back then. Behind him, Pinocchio feigned a gag, and Flycatcher berated him to not ruin the moment. Red overheard Fly say Pinocchio's name, and suddenly she was asking if he really was the Pinocchio. She's heard stories of him back in the Homelands, while she was a slave. Pinocchio responds that if she's heard of him, then maybe she knew what happened to his father, Geppetto, who never made it out of the Homelands? The question goes unanswered when Blue interrupts, and Red Riding Hood takes him to where they could talk privately.
Flycatcher notices that Blue forgot his horn. He never goes anywhere without it, and worse, it was dented. Pinocchio thinks it's a bad omen.
King Cole returns to the Woodland Apartments after a relaxing night in town. Passing one of Prince Charming's election posters, he gruffly orders Grimble to take it down.
Upstairs, Beauty and Beast welcome their guest, Prince Charming, to their humble apartment. He was there to make a business proposal that would raise their salaries tremendously if they accepted. Put frankly, Charming explained that his winning the election was a guaranteed thing. Because of this, Snow White would understandably quit, never wanting to work with him, and the same would go for Bigby, leaving their two positions open for the taking. To Lady Beauty and Lord Beast's shock, he asks them to fulfill the position of his new deputy mayor and town sheriff.
Red Riding Hood takes Boy Blue to the abandoned warehouse where she's been staying. She tells him she's worried about Bigby investigating her. After what he did to her back when she was a little girl. Boy Blue tries to say that was Pre-Amnesty, when all crimes committed in the Homelands were forgiven. the most she'd have to worry about before officially joining Fabletown is a standard interview about her past. Nevertheless, Red wants Blue to help her, like he did back at the Keep at World's End. She asked him to tell her about their magical artifacts, and the number of witches and warlocks they had. He held her steady, telling her the initiation into Fabletown wasn't like taking a U.S. citizenship test, she didn't need to know any of that stuff. It'd actually make Bigby more suspicious. Red changes the subject, asking Blue why he hasn't kissed her yet. They then make love on her cot.
Early morning arrives. Red wakes to Boy Blue sitting up in bed, beckons him to come back to sleep. He can't though, something just wasn't right. Blue asks her who she really is, and what she'd done with Red. Red Riding Hood tries to explain again that the years in captivity have changed her, but Blue isn't buying it. So she switches to Plan B: reaching an arm out and electrifying Boy Blue with a spell. The three Wooden Men come out of the shadows and address her, asking if they should kill him? The phony Red Riding Hood says she would soon chop him up and throw him in her stew, but first she had a few questions to ask him...
- This book was first published on March 10, 2004.
- This issue continues the story from Fables #21.
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