Well, your tongue was quite tight coming over here. I take it you're ready to talk! 
Feature Funnies #9 is an issue of the series Feature Funnies (Volume 1) with a cover date of June, 1938.
Synopsis for "Joe Palooka"
(newspaper strip reprints)
Appearing in "Joe Palooka"
Featured Characters:
- Joe Palooka
Supporting Characters:
- Knobby Walsh
Synopsis for "Jane Arden // Lena Pry"
(newspaper strip reprints)
Appearing in "Jane Arden // Lena Pry"
Featured Characters:
- Jane Arden
- Lena Pry (See Notes.)
Synopsis for The Bungle Family: "Safe"
(newspaper strip reprints)
Appearing in The Bungle Family: "Safe"
Featured Characters:
- Bungle Family
Synopsis for Big Top: "Episode 9"
(newspaper strip reprints)
Appearing in Big Top: "Episode 9"
- Appearances not yet listed
Synopsis for "Gallant Knight"
(reprinted from the British comic Wags)
Appearing in "Gallant Knight"
Featured Characters:
- Sir Tyrone Neville of England, the Gallant Knight
Supporting Characters:
Antagonists:
Other Characters:
Locations:
Era:
- Early 9th Century, Reign of Charlemagne
Items:
Vehicles:
Synopsis for The Clock Strikes!: "5th Ave. Jewel Dealer Robbed of Fortune"
Corrupt night watchman Joe Taff participates in a jewelry store robbery. The next day, Carteer the jeweler visits Police Captain Kane, demands action, admits the stolen uncut diamonds are insured, and generally behaves like a blustering jackass. At the same time, in his hidden lair, reading about the robbery in a newspaper, the Clock figures out that the watchman was in on the robbery.
That night he visits the jewelry story, nabs Taff, and whisks him away to his secret base, where he's got a torture chamber. Taff squeals on his accomplices; Clock locks him in a cell, then goes to visit them. That visit seems to go badly for the Clock when the robbers get the drop on him, but three of them stupidly step out of the room, and the Clock knocks out the fourth with his trick walking stick, then uses his pistol to corner the other three.
Clock turns the crooks over to Captain Kane, keeps the diamonds, converts them to cash, and distributes it among some poor people. He anticipates that Captain Kane will have trouble from the jeweler, Carteer, but claims to have evidence that Carteer is a former smuggler, who should just accept the insurance settlement and keep quiet. Kane reads all this in a lengthy note from the Clock, then burns the note.
Appearing in The Clock Strikes!: "5th Ave. Jewel Dealer Robbed of Fortune"
Featured Characters:
Supporting Characters:
- Captain Kane
Antagonists:
- Joe Taff
- 4 more robbers
Other Characters:
- Mr. Carteer
Locations:
- New York City
- Carteer's Jewelry Store
- NYPD Precinct House
- Clock's sub-basement lair
- 39 Water Street, gang's hideout
Items:
- a fortune in uncut diamonds
- Clock's trick cane
Synopsis for Hawks of the Seas: "Chieco"
Reprints from the British comic Wags
Appearing in Hawks of the Seas: "Chieco"
Featured Characters:
- The Hawk
- Sagua, Indian
- Fluth
- Bogg
- Caleb
- Pierre
- Burke
Antagonists:
- Claw Carlos
- his pirate crew: Pietro, others
- Chieco, Mongolian/Egyptian manservant
Other Characters:
- Hawk's father's old friend (not yet named)
Locations:
- Spanish Main
- Inagua Island, east of Jamaica
- Large house w/ chemistry lab
Items:
- Hawk's heirloom locket, possibly enchanted
Vehicles:
- Hawk's armed sloop, formerly Carlos' (Captured)
Synopsis for "Ned Brant"
(newspaper strip reprints)
Appearing in "Ned Brant"
Featured Characters:
- Ned Brant
Synopsis for "Lala Palooza"
(newspaper strip reprints)
Appearing in "Lala Palooza"
Featured Characters:
- Lala Palooza
Supporting Characters:
- Vincent Palooza
Synopsis for Slim & Tubby: "Episode 9"
(newspaper strip reprints)
Appearing in Slim & Tubby: "Episode 9"
Featured Characters:
- Slim
- Tubby
Synopsis for Clip Chance at Cliffside: "Cross-Country"
Appearing in Clip Chance at Cliffside: "Cross-Country"
Featured Characters:
Supporting Characters:
Antagonists:
Other Characters:
Locations:
Items:
Vehicles:
Synopsis for "Dixie Dugan"
(newspaper strip reprints)
Appearing in "Dixie Dugan"
Featured Characters:
- Dixie Dugan
Synopsis for "Mickey Finn"
(newspaper strip reprints)
Appearing in "Mickey Finn"
Featured Characters:
- Mickey Finn
Supporting Characters:
- Uncle Phil
Notes
- Published monthly by Comics Favorites, Inc.
- Clip Chance's first name is "William."
- This issue's The Clock Strikes! story is a reworked version of the Funny Picture Stories #1 Alias The Clock story in Funny Picture Stories #1, Nov 1936, by Centaur Comics. Some pages were redrawn, and in the new version Captain Kane has a name.
- The Clock remains unnamed.
- The Clock has a torture chamber, with a full set of medieval infernal devices, in his sub-basement home base.
- The Clock carries at least one pistol, and a spring-loaded trick walking-stick. The trick stick was last seen in Feature Funnies #6. Later on in his career, the Clock is remarkably inconsistent about packing the gun.[citation needed]
- Also featured in this issue of Feature Funnies were:
- "Fisher's History of Boxing" by Ham Fisher, running across the top 1/5 of all 5 of his Joe Palooka pages.
- Flossie by Al Zere ("Toddy" and "Flossie" share their pages, much like "Jane Arden" and "Lena Pry".)
- Good Deed Dotty by J.P. McEvoy and J.H. Striebel, running across the top 1/5 of all 4 of their Dixie Dugan pages.
- Lena Pry by Monte Barrett and Russell E. Ross, running in the bottom-left 1/4 of all 4 of their Jane Arden pages.
- Modern Planes: "Death Angel" (Douglas B-18) by Les Marshall
- Nippie ("He's Often Wrong") by Lank Leonard, running across the top 1/5 of all 5 of his Mickey Finn pages.
- "Odd Animals", "Odd Birds", and "Little Brother" by H.J. Tuthill, running across the top 1/5 of all 3 of his Bungle Family pages.
- Off-Side by Jo Metzer
- Off The Record (gag cartoons) by Ed Reed appears in two places in this issue.
- Puzzle Phun: "Old King Cole" by Don DeConn [reprinted from Wags (UK)(Editors Press, 1937 series)]
- Screen Snapshots: "Wallace Beery" by Bernard Baily
- Strange As It Seems: "Temple of the Hair" by John Hix
- Strange As It Seems: "The King of Costume" by John Hix
- They're Still Talking: "...About Grim's Great Fielding in the 1929 World Series" by Bob Zuppke & R.W. Depew
- They're Still Talking: "...About Mathewson's Famous Fadeaway Ball" by Bob Zuppke & R.W. Depew
- Toddy by George Marcoux ("Toddy" and "Flossie" share their pages, much like "Jane Arden" and "Lena Pry".)
See Also