Adventures in the Rifle Brigade (Volume 2) #3 is an issue of the series Adventures in the Rifle Brigade (Volume 2) with a cover date of January, 2002.
Synopsis for "Operation Bollock: Spit or Swallow"
As the Rifle Brigade are held at gunpoint, Gerta Gasch laments her life after her last meeting with them, in which they left her humiliated by their defiance and she had to start her career over. This led her to volunteer in the search for Hitler's bollock, but only to subsequently be made to serving three months undercover as one of the Sultan's harem women and giving continuous oral sex in which she also blamed this on the Brigade. Carrington-Shyte comes out the shadows and reveals to be a traitor, having been responsible for informing the Germans about the bollock, and is Gasch's lover - much to the disgust of the Brigade. With the bollock in hand, Gerta explains that once the testicle is reunited with Hitler this will allow Germany to win the war within merely a month and taking over the world within a year. Gasch and Carrington-Shyte leave the Rifle Brigade after having them disarmed and prepared to be sent to Germany.
Outside, as Gasch prepares to leave Semmen unnoticed by plane one of her officers informs her that they had disarmed the Brigade, but they didn't apprehend Piper's bagpipes. As this being said, Piper plays his bagpipes that badly traumatizes their Nazi captors to the point of killing themselves. The Brigade rearm themselves and fights back Gasch's men. The Focke-Wulf returns once again - and happens to be Gasch's ride - but only to be shot down by the Rifle Brigade. Its pilot parachutes out of his plane just as the palace's guards and Sultan O'Khan are noticed by the commotions.
Maryland Smith appears on the scene on a biplane and steals the bollock literally out of Gasch's hand. The Brigade are then confronted at gunpoint by the pilot of the Focke-Wulf, who reveals himself to be Oberleutnant Ernst Flaschmann - the brother of the tank commander Otto Flaschmann, who was killed by Darcy. Flaschmann tells them that he came to avenge his brother. Before he has the chance to kill them, Corporal Milk explains to Flaschmann that the Brigade had no choice to kill his brother because he was an enemy soldier. Flaschmann is suddenly made humble by Milk's words and decides to drop his vengeance as he finally sees how meaningless it is as he, his brother, and the Brigade are merely soldiers who are fighting for their respective nations and should be treated with respect as fellow soldiers instead of being enemies. However, Darcy shoots Flaschmann and finds his sentimentalism as "absolute rot." O'Khan and his men finds and arrest the Brigade, Gasch and Carrington-Shyte. Carrington-Shyte then reveals his true colors as he doesn't care about Gasch and leave her and the Brigade to their fate while he, being a representative of the British Foreign Office, is diplomatically immune.
Maryland Smith returns to the scene with the intention of mooning his enemies. But he then terrifyingly finds a badger - which belongs to his co-pilot - inside his cockpit. Smith has a phobia of badgers, in which he tries to shoot it, but only to hit the plane's fuel and causing it to explode, killing Smith and the co-pilot (except the badger). The bollock is drop from the plane and onto the ground where every party attempts to grab it. Unexpectedly, the bollock lands inside Milk's mouth which he then inadvertently swallows it and succumbing to the malign influence of the bollock; he then start behaving and raving like Adolf Hitler. Seeing that her mission to procure the bollock is now a total farce, Gasch tries to resettle her revenge on Darcy. But suddenly, Milk violently vomit a torrent of black "man-fat" onto Gasch, Carrington-Shyte, O'Khan and his men - all of whom are petrified and wasted away into dusts. With their mission over, the Rifle Brigade with an unconscious Milk in tow leave for Britain.
Darcy reports to Colonel Frigpipe that after Lieutenant Milk was knocked out by Sergeant Crumb he has been recuperating and doesn't remember anything from swallowing the bollock. The bollock in turn is recovered after it "[came] out the other end." Darcy then ask Colonel Frigpipe as to what they should do about the bollock. Frigpipe answers that Darcy shouldn't be too concern about the bollock and be content that another of England's enemies has been dealt a mortal blow.
Hitler's bollock in question is shown to be stored alongside long rows of shelves containing jars of bollocks belonging to Britain's previous enemies.
Appearing in "Operation Bollock: Spit or Swallow"
Featured Characters:
Supporting Characters:
- Colonel Frigpipe
Antagonists:
- Oberleutnant Ernst Flaschmann
- Gerta Gasch
- Carrington-Shyte
Other Characters:
- Ali Ben Rajapoor Rashid O'Khan
- Maryland Smith
Locations:
- England
- Semmen
- Sidi Boomboom
Items:
- Hitler's bollock
Vehicles:
- Focke-Wulf Fw 190
Notes
- Adventures in the Rifle Brigade: Operation Bollock is a three-issue limited series published under DC's Vertigo imprint.
- Adventures in the Rifle Brigade (Volume 1) and this limited series are both collected in the 2004 Adventures in the Rifle Brigade trade paperback.
- Final issue of the series. Final appearance of all characters.
Trivia
- Maryland Smith's fear of badgers is a reference to Indiana Jones' ophiophobia.
- The ending is a parody of the final scene in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.
See Also