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"Preacher Wars!, Part II: Code of Ethics": Reverend 'Bo preaches before a full congregation of saps, eagerly handing over their money to avoid being fragged. One of the robed members stands up in the middle of the hymn and denounces this travesty of religion. [[Jonas Gli


Quote1 That's right, folks! I realized preachin' could bring th' big cash rewards man-hunters can only dream about... an' now I want my share! What happens if ya don't stump up? Well, I'm just liable to do ya some kinda injury! So, folks, where would ya rather be hit -- in th' pocket or in th' face? Th' choice is yours! Quote2
-- Reverend 'Bo



Appearing in "Preacher Wars!, Part II: Code of Ethics"

Featured Characters:

Supporting Characters:

Other Characters:

  • Bucket Babes (Die with the destruction of Hoozer)
  • Paw Flakk (Only appearance; dies)
  • Flakk Bothers (Only appearance; dies)
  • Roxy Flakk (Only appearance; dies)
  • Lobo and Roxy's Daughter (Only appearance; dies)
  • Rasputin Widdle (Mentioned only)

Locations:

  • Church of the Almighty Frag
  • Bakker Hotel
  • Penthouse
  • Planet Hoozer (Destroyed)
  • Stadium (Destroyed)
  • Flakk & Sons Munitions (Destroyed)

Items:

  • Gold Star's Code of Ethics Book
  • Alcohol
  • Lug Beer
  • Concussium (Mentioned only)

Vehicles:

Synopsis for "Preacher Wars!, Part II: Code of Ethics"

Reverend 'Bo preaches before a full congregation of saps, eagerly handing over their money to avoid being fragged. One of the robed members stands up in the middle of the hymn and denounces this travesty of religion. Pastor Jonas prepares to silence the agitator, but the Reverend 'Bo doesn't shy away from a philosophical debate. The hooded figure pronounces all the good things religion is supposed to stand for, and Lobo's rebuttal points out all the hypocrisy that has come with the good intentions. The Reverend has the nuisance ejected by Pastor Jonas, ending the prayer meeting.

Surveying the obscene amount of money they've collected once again from their perverted faith, Lobo mentions how he's getting restless and plans to return to being a hired killer... after one last big score. Outside, the expelled voice of reason removes his disguise, and Gold Star plans his next move to thwart Lobo's wicked ways. He uses his good vibes on two thugs "collecting" for the Church of the Almighty Frag, before consulting his Code of Ethics to see if it morally viable to spy on Lobo.

Looking into the counterfeit church leaders' hotel penthouse proves too much for Gold Star's virtues, but once the two have finished with their ladies, he overhears their next devious and despicable plot.

With a massive bundle of cash in tow, Lobo and his team head to Planet Hoozer, where the biggest stadium in a dozen systems is located, as well as a guy who owes him a favour. Lobo leaves Jonas to organise the stadium, while he takes his hog and visits Flakk & Sons munitions. Flakk is not happy to see his daughter's ex-boyfriend show up after abandoning her pregnant several years ago. Lobo fends of his assailants with ease when Roxy Flakk shows herself. 'Bo gives her a wad of credits to help him with his plan.

With nightfall comes the extravagant spectacle of Reverend 'Bo's globally broadcast prayer meet. He introduces his former pastor as, "Prophet" Jonas, who regales the crowd with his apocalyptic vision of the future, the destruction of Planet Hoozer!

Not far from the city, the Flakks deliver a large quantity of explosives to an isolated cave, and set the timer. Gold Star has watched their every move since Lobo hired them, and swoops in after their departure to crush the timed detonator in his hand, while taking note that the planet's mineral content is rich with volatile concussium. With crisis averted, he flies off to expose the fraud, when the cave explodes behind him.

Back at the stadium, everyone is shocked by the ominous eruption nearby apart from 'Bo, who made sure it would go off on time as he added an extra timer for safety. Jonas proclaims this is the end of Hoozer, unless of course the inhabitants appease the "Voice of Doom" by offering all the money they can spare. Everything goes to plan as billions of credits come rolling in from all over the planet, until the super-cheez shows up to denounce the false prophet's hustle. Lobo opens fire, but the bullets have no effect. Together Lobo, Jonas and Dawg maul the interloping do-gooder, keeping him down by smashing the lectern over his head. With his last ounce of moral strength, Gold Star tries to subdue them with his good vibes, but an earth shuddering rumble announces Hoozer's final moments. Kicking in Gold Star's head, Lobo and Jonas abandon their fortune to flee the ensuing obliteration of the entire planet. Accidentally actualising their own fraudulent doomsday, the two bounty hunters leave the space rubble that was once a home to billions in their wake, an unconscious Gold Star floating amongst it.



Notes

  • No special notes.

Trivia

  • Gold Star's Code of Ethics, section 1: Superpowers, use of, para 21B: X-ray peeping is allowed only when subject's location is known and no innocent is likely to be involved.
  • Gold Star's Code of Ethics, section 1: Violence, use of, para 3A: Only when a situation has deteriorated beyond the effects of rational argument may violence be resorted to -- and then only in a controlled and dispassionate manner.



See Also


Recommended Reading

  • None.


Links and References

  • No external links.