"2 Issues Before the Mast, Part 1: Bounty on "The Mutiny"": A short, buck-toothed sailor cheerfully enters the Mariner's Bar announcing himself as Lucky Happigo, and that he's just won one hundred credits in the seaport lottery, so the drinks are on him. He strides up to the bar and notices an i
- I don't give a flyin' fish fart about no dopey revenge quest, cheezhead! I'm outta here!
- -- Lobo
Appearing in 2 Issues Before the Mast, Part 1: Bounty on "The Mutiny"
- Badlucky Happigo (First appearance)
- Whaling Crew of "The Mutiny" (First appearance)
- Captain Rehab (First appearance)
- Mr. Queeg (First appearance)
- Behemoth (First appearance)
- Space Pirates (Mentioned only)
- Mariner's Bar
- Home-Brewed Rum
- The Mutiny (Destroyed)
Synopsis for 2 Issues Before the Mast, Part 1: Bounty on "The Mutiny"
A short, buck-toothed sailor cheerfully enters the Mariner's Bar announcing himself as Lucky Happigo, and that he's just won one hundred credits in the seaport lottery, so the drinks are on him. He strides up to the bar and notices an inert Lobo staring blankly ahead and offers him a drink but get no response. The barkeep explains he arrived three days ago after losing track of a wanted crew of space pirates, and drank eighteen gallons of Strongbooz to drown his sorrows, not moving since. Happigo decides all he needs is a little hair of the dog, and holds a bottle of Strongbooz to Lobo's mouth. A tremendous belch breaks the dejected Lobo's silence before he adds he would normally pummel anyone who interrupted his drunken reverie, fortunately for Lucky, he did it in the best possible way. At the table behind them, an man angrily hurls his bottle at another. The intended target ducks the projectile, just as Happigo bends down to pick up a shiny coin, and the bottle passes over them both to smash against Lobo's face. Lobo pushes Lucky out of the way, who falls face-first into a woman's ample cleavage, while the Czarnian dishes out a little payback.
Outside the bar, Mr. Queeg takes the brawl inside as an opportunity for his press gang to raid the tavern. They burst in just as Lobo embeds a bottle in a man's skull and start rounding up patrons with electric batons. The Main Man fights back, forcing the shock sticks down two of the assailant's throats while Lucky crawls for the exit, only to find the way blocked by a thug in a gas mask who fills the room with sedatives that even Lobo isn't immune to, and he passes out.
When Lobo regains consciousness he finds himself dressed as a sailor aboard the whaling ship, Mutiny. Furious, Lobo kicks in the door of his confines and faces Mr. Queeg, who asks rhetorically if he has permission to be on deck. Lobo responds defiantly and the two brawl until they're broken up by Captain Rehab. Lobo looks incredulously at what's left of the mutilated Captain preserved in a jar, nothing more than a mangled head and a few various body parts. Rehab regales his tale of the behemoth, monster of the cosmos, a great beast he was hunting that chewed him up and spat him out again. Now the Captain seeks revenge, and he requires a hearty crew to end the beast. Lobo is completely apathetic to Rehab's quest and walks away, until Mr. Queeg shows him the contract he signed. The signature is his, although he has no memory of writing it, but the sly Mr. Queeg holds Lobo to his word. To protect his honour, Lobo reluctantly consigns himself to two years in the service of the Mutiny. Lucky hands Lobo a bottle of Strongbooz he kept from the bar, but Mr. Queeg whips it from his hand, telling him unsanctioned alcohol is contractually forbidden. The two coerced sailors retreat to their quarters as Lobo suggests Happigo might not be as lucky as he thought as he bangs his head on the top of the doorway.
Elsewhere, participants of a yacht race witness a small pod of Space Dolphins glide between the space-faring vessels. One of them cries a signal into the distant darkness. The pilot-dolphins have a symbiotic relationship with a fellow space mammal, who approaches from the backdrop of stars. The mighty behemoth. Summoned towards the promise of food, the gargantuan space whale engulfs the entire flotilla of yachts in a single gulp.
Aboard the Mutany, Lobo and Happigo are working the capstan when 'Bo is struck on the head by a falling wrench. Happigo exclaims it was lucky it didn't hit him, while Lobo hurls the wrench back at the clumsy sailor up the mast who dropped it. Lobo bitterly turns to Lucky and decides he's next, seeing as he should have been called "Jinxy" instead. Before 'Bo can get his hands on his cursed companion, the sailor knocked out by the wrench lands on top of him, followed by the wrench.
As the ship rounds an alien planet, the crew is called for their rum rations. Lobo savours the smell of the home-brewed liquor, but before he can take a sip, the loudspeaker screams a behemoth sighting in his ear, causing him to spill it. Mr. Queeg rallies all crew to their stations. Lobo inquires what the hoses connected to the harpoons are for, and Lucky explains it's poison to inject into the behemoth. Lobo remarks that it smells just like the rum and chugs a whole barrel as the monstrous creature overshadows the ship. Captain Rehab orders the harpoons to be fired, and an inebriated Lobo lands his mark with the rest of them, but he can't dump the poison because he's drunk it all. Without enough poison to render the behemoth unconscious, the colossal cetacean keeps moving forward, towing the Mutiny behind it into an asteroid field. The ships splinters in two upon colliding with an oncoming space rock, and drifting in the weightless black ocean of space, Happigo confesses that people really call him "Badlucky," because everyone that comes near him is plagued by misfortune. Lobo's too drunk to care as they face the gaping mouth of the hungry behemoth.
- No special notes.
- The title is a play on the name of the historic event, the mutiny on the Bounty.
- The Mutiny's figurehead is a man with a Xenomorph bursting from his chest.
- The story is a pastiche of Moby Dick, with the vengeful Captain Rehab (Ahab) and Mr. Queeg (Queequeg) hunting the behemoth (the white whale.)
- After harpooning the behemoth, Captain Rehab exclaims, "She's takin' us on a Nantucket spaceride!"
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Links and References
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