- Hi, make yourself Venusian rubbed Moscow. Can I drink you in the Mayan temple?
- -- Nowhere Man src
- -- Nowhere Man src
Nowhere Man's father left when he was two, and he was brought up by his mother, who became a religious fanatic. Her fanaticism extended to forcing him to repress all of his sexual urges from a young age. She drilled holes into his bedroom door, for easy inspection, and strapped boxing gloves to his hands at night, to keep him from masturbating. This extreme sexual repression saddled him with a psycho-sexio-genetic disease called molecular displacement, which sent his molecules into disarray.
When his mother became a missionary in Iran, he joined his uncle Barney's circus as the molecularly displaced freak. It was from Lizard Girl, another freak at the circus, that he finally learned that sex didn't have to be wicked.
Unfortunately, uncle Barney drowned when he got drunk before doing an escapist act. Likewise, Lizard Girl stayed out in the sun too long, and dried up, dying of heat exposure. Sadly, he left the circus, changed his name, and tried to eke out a living as a third-rate superhero, teaming up with the Front Page and the Notional Man.
He left them, though, stealing a lot of their money in the process, after they started making very bad pornographic films.
Later, he was coerced by the CIA into doing a bodyguard job with Buddy Baker to protect the President of the United States from three super-powered children called the Angel Mob.
At the same time, however, the Front Page and the Notional Man came after Nowhere Man wanting vengeance. Animal Man killed the Front Page by accident, which prompted the Notional Man to become even more aggressive, going so far as to bomb a nightclub he believed they were inside and later, kidnap Buddy's daughter. However, the Notional Man was also killed by Animal Man, later.
Buddy and Nowhere Man eventually agreed to work together with the CIA. the CIA believed that two exceptionally weird heroes like Animal Man and Nowhere Man could defy the psychic powers of the Angel Mob. Unfortunately, Buddy was killed not long after, and Nowhere Man was partnered with the Green Cigarette.
At Buddy's funeral, Nowhere Man tried to connect with his family, but was poorly received, except from Maxine Baker, who believed that the Buddy who is dead is not her real father.
Maxine showed him that her bathroom occasionally turns into a jungle, and in that jungle, he encounters a living Animal Man. Eventually, through a bizarre use of quantum physics and the many-worlds interpretation of Schrodinger's Cat paradox, it is explained how Buddy is alive. Together, they saved the President, only to discover that he intended to keep the Angel Mob children, and do experiments on them.
Angrily, Buddy killed the President, and with Nowhere Man's help, they at least allowed the Angel Mob children to die with some dignity. Before dying, Lucinda Angel helped Buddy get back home, and helped Nowhere Man to stop speaking in cut-up. Before Buddy killed himself in order to return to his own universe, he and Nowhere Man embraced as friends.
- 5 Appearances of Nowhere Man (New Earth)
- 1 Images featuring Nowhere Man (New Earth)
- Quotations by or about Nowhere Man (New Earth)
- Character Gallery: Nowhere Man (New Earth)
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